How it is!

God gave me what I wanted but not how I wanted it..Love..Respect..Determination and Motivation..I got all those like this.."You really don't know how to live life until you almost die" that gives you a greater understanding of life..this cleaned me..I woke up out of all the skin I was in..into a new body..mind and spirit..that's the blessing..I met a doctor for an examination..he greets me..asked for a 411..looks at the big health record then looks at me with a confused face..examines my skull..nose and jaws because they were broken..then sent me for an xray..I come back then he goes for the results..looks at them and his face changed 100 like night and day..He had a face of believing and not believing at the same time..I don't look as hurt as I am..that's being God blessed..If you live in or around a certain lifestyle there's no confusion..that's how it is everytime I'm in a hood.."you don't look like this was over an accident but something else"..that's having a silent understanding with no words..so my cane isn't for a look...No matter how hard things maybe God always gives signs reminding me that Everything Will Be Good..I just got to keep believing..what I don't see now will be..I still have high expectations for myself and they motivate because I expect the best for myself and that motivation doesn't like being idol at mind..so I stay active until I rest my eyes.. surviving what I survived doesn't allow me to be jealous..I Shed Blood On The Streets..I been through some shh..so if you haven't been through that there's nothing you have that'll make me jealous..life experiences can't be bought..the counsellor told me ppl say I'm lucky..lucky? for what?don't envy glamour without envying the pain..its not luck but a Blessing...working out is a mental expression..I work out my thoughts..if I didn't have abs working out wouldn't be as fun..its been a min..so I put everything I been writing together into an expression!